When you love someone more than you love yourself, it can be hard to come to terms with certain things. There is so much I would do for my boyfriend-he’s my whole world. We are a team, so when he hurts I hurt. I don’t know if it’s because he truly is my “soul mate” and I feel connected to him emotionally, or if it’s just because I care for him with such  great intensity.

It’s hard sitting back watching him be okay with certain things. He had a really rough childhood and it’s hard for me to accept his family because of it. He has stories that,(true story), actually brought one of his old male co-workers to tears on my couch.

What’s great about Chad is that he knows hes the black sheet of his family. He accepted not getting anything when his 3 siblings got everything they wished for. He accepted that his mother made him walk around in public with his grades on a t-shirt  before his dad put a stop to it (thank God). He accepted it when his mom blamed him for him and his father’s divorce. After all of these things he is still the most positive person I’ve ever met. He will take what he gives and gives and never asks for anything in return. He was delighted when he got his first phone when he was 21 even if it was an old flip phone and everyone had a touch screen. He was delighted when he got his first car at the age of 24 even though his younger bother got a highlander on his 16th birthday.

What is really starting to get to me is that he still receives this treatment and he’s so used to it that he doesn’t think twice about it. He’s never invited to events and when he did actually get invited to his families Christmas last year he sat and watched while everyone opened their stockings and he didn’t have one. He got a Starbucks gift card from his mom and that’s it. She doesn’t even know her son enough to know he doesn’t even like coffee.

My heart aches for him. I wish I could give him the world and show him how important he is. I  wish I could get it through his head that he’s not stupid even though that’s what he grew up hearing. Let him know that he can be ANYTHING he wants to be in life and doesn’t have to settle for anything even though he grew up being told he couldn’t do what he wanted because “it’s a hard field to get into and he needs to just take any opportunity he can get”. I love him to death and it’s devastating to watch. I just want to wrap my arms around him and never let him go around them, but like he says; they’re his family and he loves them. He is such a sweetheart.

I will obviously never say anything to them, but I truly wish I could make everyone see him as I do.

Advertisements